Riding the Waves

I’ve taken a break from the blog over the past several weeks, trying to come back from hitting a major low in the ups and downs of teaching.  I started the year off inspired from my summer school experience, working with the math leadership council, and all the great project based learning lessons I had been finding and planning.  I went into chapter 2 of the book, the dreaded fractions with positives and negative feel motivated and optimistic.  I worked on student centered lessons, discourse and visual models.  In class students were drawing, talking and representing operations with fractions. All seemed to be going great…. Then I assessed them.  To say it was horrendous would be putting it mildly.

I was so discouraged.  I, We, had all worked so hard on this chapter. I analyzed their work and kept seeing a common thread, negatives, they didn’t know what to do with the negatives.  So for the past several weeks, I have spiraled reviewed the material as we progressed through the next chapter.  But I had lost my drive and excitement that I started the year with.  I was feeling defeated, like all this planning and work wasn’t having a positive impact on the learning of my students.   I have really been struggling with this over the past quarter.  

I keep plugging away, looking for hands on lessons, encouraging error analysis but inside I have felt defeated.  I truly want to change the way they view math.  I want them to love the exploration and discovery in the process.  I want the lessons to be as exciting for them as I think they are.  But I have barely been treading water.  I have been lucky this year to be working with a grade level team, and talking through all of our struggles and successes has helped to get me through this low.  Yesterday I received a letter in my mailbox that has helped me to get some of my spark back.  It was from one of my summer school students, thanking me for working with him this summer and making math “fun”.  

I think what I have come to realize is that this h=journey is going to be full of highs and lows.  Some of my lessons will be amazing, and others might flop, but most importantly I need to fight that urge to slip back into the easy routine of lecture.  I need to challenge myself to be better and keep searching and trying new things, just like i am always challenging my students to persevere and work through the struggle.  So while currently I feel like I’m currently at the bottom of the wave, the next one is right behind me waiting for me to catch it.